Drifting

Do you know the strange heightened awareness you get when you realize you forgot to put on deodorant? 

I have that right now.


I'm listening to 'Hometown Glory' ~Adele.

Thinking and writing, and cooking. 

I left Colleen's two days ago after an intense organic jam tasting (and purchasing). 

Spoke to Bev briefly, and Wendy for a total of 2 minutes. 

My thoughts at the time are in no way related to these woman, the day, or the jam.


I had mentioned something about photography to Colleen. 

And like a patient coming out of a coma, remembered a feeling or an idea....something I was once passionate about pursuing. 

Not as a career, or even a large scale hobby. 

Just an interest. 

I am slipping away. 

Slowly, but its happening. 

The last time I even touched scrap booking supplies was 2 years ago. 

Before that it was another 2 years.

These are real pieces of my life floating away. 

I used to schedule time for myself...this never worked. 

My down time consists of an Ativan or sleep, or something that does not include the use of my brain.


I'm talking about looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person looking back at you. 

I'm talking about spending your days not remembering who or what you spoke to, and looking or touching an object and savoring the good feeling you get inside because you knew you once liked this. 

How far will these pieces drift? 

And will they ever find their way back to me?