Exist More

I don't want this blog to be all gloom and doom, yet I am sharing my day to day life as accurately possible.  

What do you do when the sucky moments outweigh the good ones? 

I'll share with you the typical response I get. 1. Pray  2. Retreat into never-never land and these issues will all work out.  3.  Stop spending so much time focusing on what you don't have and be grateful for what you do have. 

Author and spiritual teacher Byron Katie says: "The definition of insanity is thinking that you need something you don't have. The mere fact that you exist right now without that which you think you need is proof that you don't need it."

What in the hell does this mean? 

What about moving past existing, wanting more, and when did it become a crime to need/want more?  

Homeless individuals want shelter and if they exist without getting eaten by a rat or stabbed with a heroin needle, does this mean they don't need a home? There is a huge difference between simply existing, and living. 

Right now our family exists.  We exist more which is better than before

.....in 2004 when I would cry after playgroups because the other children "got it" and I had a runner/screamer when all I wanted to do was sing twinkle- twinkle

....in 2005 when we could not enter a public establishment with an elevator escalator, handicapped button because of the 'helldowns'.

Yes, we existed then, but do you really think it was meaningful?  

When I rarely listen listen to what others preach say...I always do a "hustler" background check.  

It's wrong but I can't really accept some one's opinion if they have never struggled with anything, or cannot personally identify with your situation.  

Everyone struggles with something, and it's all relative. 

I simply find solace in talking deeply, and on a personal level, making the conversation as pure as it can be. 

Did it really take me this long to type {I enjoy intimate conversations}.  Yes it did.  I am very poor in the editing/paraphrasing department.