Learning To Let Go

An email response to Bev from me.

"I think the last time I saw you (when I had the daisies), was the last time I wore make-up. I felt miserable because I know how many chemicals are in them, yet I was fighting to let go of a 'look' I've grown accustomed to.

It's like I've been conditioned to see 'natural' as boring. I feel boring. 

Eliminating chemicals that made my mornings easier hair products was craptastic and remains a nuisance. 

Letting go of my make-up is devastating an entirely different thing. 

I don't just wear it. I love the instant porn star lips when I wear Viva Glam 5 and 6 pick me up from a sweep of blush, and the flirty feeling you get as you bat your eyelashes. 

Sure, I will find it hard to get the products I adore, as a good quality organic eyeshadow costs approximately $36 find some items I tolerate, but it will take time.

Living with MCS is like trying to do everything you have routinely accomplished for so long, with something stopping you every 5 minutes. 

I could probably get ready in my sleep, yet now I am choosing between washing my hair with a bar of soap, or not using body lotion as I am unsure of how I will feel in the next 10 minutes. 

I feel like a bomber who is walking around with it in their backpack. Constantly peering, and looking puzzled with questions of what chemical is close to me.

So back to being plain. 

Yep, plain. 

Being sexy without 'scents' and 'bedroom eyes', sucks ass. 

Oh, I really am loving my natural curls. 

No complaints there. 

However, unwashed sweaty, matted curls because I can't find a shampoo that comes close to one that causes cancer are not cool.