Healing Crisis

Well it's Autism day year week here at the Barrington household.  This is generally filled with self doubt , fear, anxiety, and stress. Oh yes....the stress.  

I have a massive 'wish list' which contains 800 thread count sheets a four slice toaster boring supplements.  

A bottle of why can't you just learn to swallow pills chewable Houston Tri Enza Enzymes is somewhere just waiting to be shipped.

Oops, I forgot to mention these were for my son.  You didn't think I would take this type of care for myself did you? 

I made myself a promise that I would never run out again.  Never place his fragile body in harms way because of financial difficulties, or discontinue things that aid in the overall success of my client X.  

I broke this promise twice. 

This wasn't by choice.

I spent three days pleading with David to be content eating Kraft Dinner for supper (only a month or two), so that I could place an order.  

At this point in our marriage a response is not justified (just a look).  

I know this look by now. To me, he sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher.  

I don't think I've ever listened to his response....ever.  

If for some reason I tuned in, it would sound like this :

"Tawnya, you cannot live for only one of your children.  We have a family to nurture, and support.  This whole ship isn't going down because X needs CytoFlora."

But it really feels as if he's saying this:

"Tawnya, I don't care if you've stayed up all night researching, and trying to interpret X's lab results.  You're not getting anything, because you and X deserve to suffer in Hell."

I will also add translator to my growing list of jobs I am not suitable for.