Oh dear Lord, how do I get so behind in blog posts?
I'm not writing anything new until I catch up.
Okay, here goes.....let's just insert this little new year's photo which I had planned on doing in January.
Ummmm, okay....that caption wasn't exactly accurate, but I guess this is a fine spot to discuss weight loss.
This has truly (I say truly because many people start/stop weight loss goals/plans) been going on since the spring of 2009.
No pictures...well I have before lovelies, but no after's.
If you think I'm putting up a 320 pound before you are crazy.
I will break the process down for any morbidly obese individuals that might come across this post. I won't go into the cliche 'struggled with my weight my entire life' bit. It's old, and this world is too messed up to remotely feel sorry for someone who over eats.
I know it sucks, but society thinks we are the grossest of all and should live live under a bridge with pedophiles, or be grateful for starring roles in 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape'.
I thought I did enough physical activity during the day, and wondered why, at the very least, I could not maintain my weight. The obvious answer was that I over eat.
I hid loads of food, and crept around, ordering things at drive-thru's so that David wouldn't catch me. Am I scared of my husband? No.
For some reason I thought that if he didn't see me eating, he wouldn't notice the weight gain. Now that I think of it, that was probably the majority of my physical exercise.
"Are you constantly looking for new places to hide your food?" "Fed up with kids and hubby finding your stash?" "So hungry, you would eat a vegetable?" "If so you're in luck!"
Behind the biggest pot you own but hate using. Tucked in that stack of Martha Stewart magazines you saved for ideas. Inside that box of Puffed Wheat cereal nobody will just throw away already!...you name it." "Tawnya knows it all, and for the low price of 19.99, she can show you how!"
Well that was random.
The next steps can be done in any order, but wouldn't usually be given any thought.
As you all know, X has a lot of food restrictions.
Up until this point, I was doing this for him only.
Also, I couldn't figure out how to cost effectively feed the rest of my family, in the same manner I did X.
When refined sugars were taken out, I said I would do this as well. In keeping with the authenticity of this post, (and I would never admit this to anyone in public), I have to mention that I got a lot of tips from Body Talk sessions.
The first session raised red flags about orange juice, so I stopped drinking it. I replaced every liquid in my fridge with water.
The only one present is my grapefruit juice, which I think secretly eats my fat (or at least I want to believe this, because I really really love grapefruit juice).
You would think that replacing all of your normal liquids with water would not have such an impact, but it did. This is especially helpful if you are a pop drinker. I'm not, but I hear it's 'popular'....get it? POP-U-LAR! ahahhahahha...okay enough of that.
Good grief...back up even more. Meridia (a very expensive prescription drug). I started taking it in hopes to change the way I thought about food.
People who have a food addiction tend to 'live to eat', instead of 'eating to live'. Meridia gives you a feeling of being 'full'. You begin to eat normal sized portions, instead of over-eating just because the food is in front of you.
I knew it took only a month to establish a routine, and if I could make this my routine, I would be set. This, coupled with the fact I had been prescribed Prozac for depression 2 years prior and knew how it felt, made this decision an easy one. Meridia will not do anything for those individuals who do not have this problem. It does not raise your metabolism, it doesn't give you energy, not really anything special.
Back on track now. So recap with me.
Meridia, water, cut out refined sugars, and white bread, rice, flour etc. (as much as possible).
You still with me? Great.
Now the part about cutting out sugar is only good if you aren't replacing it with Aspartame, or other crap in foods marketed towards people trying to diet.
It's early 2010 now, and I've decided to make the transition from everything we had been ingesting, towards organic/whole foods.
This wasn't hard, because I was already doing it for
Again, these sorts of things are much more difficult for those doing it all at once. Can you believe I was eating
I really am embarrassed by it all, and feel like a fool for posting this, but everyone had to start somewhere right?
Okay....now I'll skip to the fun part. The 'ah ha' moment. This is what Colleen has been talking about for years.
I knew of others that became ill when eating processed foods, but have never experienced it for myself (I probably did barf, and just continued eating it, for fear of waste).
Once you cut down on white sugar for some time and reintroduce it, you will feel gross after consumption.
I'm not talking about banana breads, or anything home made. More like a latte from Cinnabon, or Fuzzy peach slices. I don't eat these, but can't think of a comparison right now.
This was the way my body reacted....and I'm pretty f**ked up, so it might vary. It took me two weeks to recognize the signal. That should give you an idea of why I ignored/wasn't aware of the
It feels like you have swallowed butterflies which are in the beginning stages of building their home. Even as I am writing this, after eating a treat out of Sebastian's Halloween bag...... knowing full well the consequence, I feel lousy....yes..that's the word! LOUSY.
Keep in mind, this all took place before I knew I had MCS, and ironically, my doctor (who still doesn't believe I have the condition, and doesn't not believe that X has Autism) was willing to assist me in any way.
He even had his receptionist put together an info packet for all forms of weight loss aids. From drinks, to Weight Watchers, Atkins, you name it....he was committed to not looking at my fat ass in his office. Even when I was seen for strep throat, he would gently suggest ways to lose weight.
I've created a monster. The most perfect kind of monster that I have been waiting for. One that recognizes signals, and is now sickened by donairs, and Froot Loops.
I might add that it took a while for me to get Sebastian off of 'Saturday' cereals.
Just a couple more things.
This process was almost 2 years.
I took Meridia for 5 months.
I could afford Meridia because of my '3 shirts, 2 bras, and 1 pair of pants' formula.
This never changes, and as long as it's followed, I can purchase my soap.
My goal weight is 180 lbs.
I currently weigh 213.5 lbs.
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