You Couldn't Make This Shit Up If You Tried

I've been married for almost four years.  

I know, I know...who in the hell would willingly choose to be in my company for this length of time???  

We didn't have a honeymoon, or celebrate our 1st, 2nd, or 3rd anniversary, so I thought we could throw in the 4th as well when I got an idea an month ago. 

We were supposed to have the kids stay at my mom's for two nights.  

Well Nadia would stay at Nannie's while the boys stayed at mom's, and then they would switch.  No one Not too many people can handle all three by themselves.  

I won't even get into the whole 'what do they even eat when they are elsewhere' bit.  

David dropped them off with a stick of butter and a bottle of Digestive Enzymes and hoped for the best! 

Our first romantic evening was supposed to be spent in Truro, while he second would be at in a hotel in Stellarton (mom gave us a free nights stay that she won).  That way we could easily pick up the kids and get home. 

I should back up and note that I lost my engagement on Christmas Eve. 

Neither of us have wedding bands, so I lost everything that symbolized a marriage.  

The good news is that I don't buy into any of this crap and think that a certificate or a ring is just that,.....a certificate and a ring. 

I have a saved draft post with photos of rings I wanted to replace my engagement ring (way before I lost it).  I think it's ridiculous for a woman to wear the same ring for 40 years!  

Who am I kidding, these days you might last 5, but you get the drift.  

We change our hair, style, coats, cars, furniture, and you're telling me that your taste in engagement rings would remain the exact same?  While some woman have the good sense to choose a timeless classic...a ring that could jump out of any era, I did not.  I chose something that I loved at the time.  

Now I don't.  

I mean, I like it.....it's just not me anymore.  

I feel like it's a ring meant for someone else, but I do feel naked without it. 

Also, I have to wear it so white people people don't assume I'm a single black mother.  

Sorry, but it's just reality. 

Should I care what people think?  Yes.  At times no, but sometimes you need to assure whites others, that your children have a mother AND a father, and that we reside in the same household......it just makes loads of things easier, and the kids don't get lumped in the bottom of the list for birthday party invites.  

We've all done this.  We know this child, and their parents. Your son/daughter wants to invite them to their party.  You let them rhyme off all of their other friends and just happen to have a limit for guests.  You purposely make them choose between a BFF (that you left off the list until this point) and this other child. 

So I should have made reservations, but I honestly didn't know if we would be going on an actual date that requires spending money, or dining on a fine selection from my refrigerator.  

We chose between the only 2 restaurants that cook with fresh ingredients had narrowed down the selection to Neenamo's, and Bistro 22.  Checked them out online, and left our house apartment.  

Show up to restaurant #...... CLOSED for the holidays.  Really bummed, but still okay.  

Drive to restaurant #2.....CLOSED at 2pm that day. Why bother open and then close at 2pm?   

David then dragged me into the public library.  When we use the term public, it's never good.  Public school, public transportation, public washroom etc.  

Neither of us has a Blackberry, or whatever is being put on the shelf this very second, so we used the Internet in hopes of finding a place to eat so we could salvage this night.  

We found a cafe that I had taken (ate breakfast) Nadia to once before.....dinner was an altogether different experience.  So different I had to 'unlike' their cafe on Facebook.

The teenage boy behind the counter....do I really need to continue?  Was nice, but admitted he sometimes gets tomatoes, olives and peppers mixed up.  

I ordered the quesadilla, and David ordered the chicken club on a ciabatta bun.  After he had taken our order, he put on an apron and attempted to prepare the food.  

Mine was made with 4 massive wedges of tomato, and David's bun didn't have any butter/mustard/mayo on it.  

David and I glanced at each other and realized this was the end.  

Actually, 'the end' came when David started to recite aloud, a poem entitled 'Don't Quit', which was hanging on the wall next to our table.  

Holding back his laughter and struggling to get a smile out of me......it worked.  We were almost in tears.  

When the meal came, we asked the cook waiter cashier teenage boy for cutlery and a glass of water.  We received a warm glass of tap water and spoon.  This sent us into another gut hurting, uncontrollable laugh fest.  

What better way is there to finish off celebrating 3 years and one future year of marriage? 

Taking a trip to Walmart.  

We didn't even go in hopes of finding something like flavoured lubricant. 

We purchased salt and garbage bags.  

30 point go to Tawnya and David for reenacting a couple in their 70's! 

We get home and decide to go see The Fighter.  

Flirted, giggled, and acted like teenagers.  

Even though it was not the night intended...we were together,and had a blast. I guess this is what marriage is made of :).