Oh yeah....I forgot to blog on one of the days I was happy this year.
It was on Thursday February 10th, and the bliss carried it all the way through the 11th.....and then left.
I was too busy smiling and enjoying my family to write but had the best intentions to do so.
I'm totally over setting goals, and failing miserably. Right now, I am doing the best I can to stay above water. Healthy lunches, and clean clothing are what I'm able to accomplish.
Once again, my inner critic has crept up and taken residence in my thoughts.
She (it's definitely a woman) sneaks around every so often, criticizing, bringing on guilt, and generally wreaking havoc on my self worth.
I panic, become anxious, depressed, and angry....quite aware of other very successful, happy mothers around me.
I write, and compare, analyze, fret, and then.......the light shines, and I give myself a great big slap for even comparing myself.
First of all, I live in Canada and deal with 3 disabilities that are only recognized in the U.S. and should automatically get a prize for this alone.
My children are healthy and happy??? (they don't get this from me)
I am happily married (not for appearances happily married), X is not stalked by an EA and is an amazing student.
Our family respects this planet, our bodies, and other humans.
I am so proud of what we have accomplished as a unit, and how my children have supported me in their own special ways.
Recently I have worried over not playing my usual role in the school, volunteering, and paying attention to the committees I sit on.
I understand that I'm probably looked upon as the habitual bail out girl and there's not much I can do about what others think/feel, except hope they understand and know this is not who I am, or how I intended to live.
I feel like I have let so many people down......but I too feel let down by so many.
Friends, family members, the Atlantic Superstore for placing laundry detergent in 7 different locations.
I am doing the best I can.
No comments:
Post a Comment