I Managed to Escape

So for my readers Colleen and Jessie..here is a quick update of my trip 2 day stay in Greenville SC. 

Let me start by saying this.

I have recently found a new song that I absolutely love. I heard it while smashing the GPS system against the dashboard figuring out directions to the mall. 

Rappers rarely use words you can actually translate to the English language so it took me 4 days to figure out what song it really was. 

I was going to seek advice from my go to guy Andrew since he seems to know a lot about music... note: Andrew Avery does not confirm or deny he knows anything about music nor that he knows or doesn't know Tawnya Barrington. 

Then I went to my only companion trusted search engine and typed in the words THE, I'M, and YOU and lo and behold the song pops up....Rick Ross (Biggest Boss). 

Now, when I fall in love with a song I categorize it. 

I have my cleaning music, driving music, but there are only two things you can do while listening to this song...one is murder someone (preferably drive by in a car with really nice rims) or have jungle sex. 

Two people on my friend list will know what this is...definitely Marissa (I mean she has read things and told me), and Erryn who actually coined this phrase. 

I know, I know bad influences these two were on me. 

Anyway since stupid laws good judgement prohibit me from doing either...well one, I will continue to listen for entertainment purposes only.

Now...on to the trip. 

I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to sleep at the airport in T.O. because my second flight was at 6am in the morning. 

I arrived in Toronto at 8pm and quickly tried to secure a sleeping area before anyone else. 

Ooops too late. 

Obviously everyone else had done this before, and I was left sitting up straight for the next 3 hours. 

When the airport started getting quiet some men pushed chairs together and made beds while the cleaners started staring. 

I just wanted someone to talk to...anyone. 

I smelled, and was tired, so I took my shoes off. 

That felt good. 

Right about now was when I decided to take a walk, but when I get sleepy I become quite giddy so I was walking around with no shoes laughing. 

It wasn't until I saw my reflection and realized one of my eyebrows had come off on when I dozed for a wee bit. 

What do you do then? 

The damage was done. 

This made me laugh really hard...like really hard.

I started in line at 4am and began to size everyone up....everyone does this. 

First you try and see who the terrorists are and then you find the person you definitely don't want to sit next to.

For most people, that person was probably me. 

Then you zero in on the person you might hook up with if the plane crashes...and then another quick scan for the terrorists.

First flight...delayed...which meant I had to run like crazy to catch my third flight. 

I don't even want to imagine what all that flesh looked like jiggling around the airport. 

There were probably people literally diving to get out of my way. 

By now, I am definitely the person you don't want to sit next to. 

I don't even think my boobs were in my bra when I got to the gate. 

But I was rewarded with a 2 hour delay of that flight....thank you NW airlines. 

Oh...and these airline attendants are black women. 

None of that "Can I get you anything?" This lady meant business. She was like 60 years old with a huge white afro. 

Nobody asked for anything. 

We just enjoyed tolerated our seats while she sucked her teeth, and rolled her eyes.

I arrived at the hotel, saw David for a total of 58 hours (23 which were spent sleeping) and returned home. 

The End.