DAY 4

There's a lot of freaking insanity mixed emotions swirling around the Barrington household these days.  I have so much to say with no real strength to organize it  in a nice and informative way.  First of all let me mention that.....

  I"M DOING IT NOW!!!!!!! 

I know you know what I'm talking about.  

It's only been on my mind for months now.  

Here's a recap of the earlier days.  

Day 1- Hunger, and breaking habits like washing grapes and eating one while I pack the boys' lunches.  

I totally used up a lot of the foods I had prepared and stored that day.  

Headaches were excruciating, and stomach pain was tolerable.  

I was able to survive my 2 tbs of glutamine powder and two doses of Nystatin.  

I'm supposed to reach 1/4 tsp and maintain it for 6 months.  

Right now, I dip 1/2 centimeter of a dry butter knife in the powder, and tap off any excess.  I don't even think this dose has a measurement......but I can do it four times, and that's all that matters.  

I have not taken anything else, as I need to be very aware of what is causing harm, and what isn't.  

Day 2 and 3 were low blood sugar days.  Little to no energy, dizziness, and more hunger. 

I just wanted to have some granola or bread....anything that was easy

Day 4, which is today.  I'm filled with resentment and anger.  

Craving everything from a smoothie, to a apple pie with ice cream.  I know this will pass, as I keep reminding myself..."It's just food."  That's all it is.  

If you are fortunate enough not to associate food with celebrations, use them for comfort, then you are very very lucky.  

I probably should have dealt with the last of my food demons before embarking on this new journey....but that would take a lifetime.  

One more major Autism upset, or a divorce, might have me nearing 300lbs. 

I'm maintaining for now....largely because of the types of food I eat, but as a person with 'food in mouth' issues, this could change as quick as the weather :).